Whether you’re planning a 300-person wedding or a backyard barbecue, entertaining can challenge even the most experienced hosts. Luckily, there are experts who’ve done it countless times. These seven wedding and event planners from across the South have perfected the art of planning. They know precisely what to avoid for a flawless event, even accounting for weather and scheduling mishaps. Here are 16 things they’d never do when planning an event.
THESE EVENT PLANNING EXPERTS WOULD NEVER…
Fail to have a solid backup plan
In an ideal world, there’s not a cloud in the sky on your event day. But you can’t predict the weather when you’re planning months out, and you don’t want to be in a pickle if your plan is only designed for a best-case scenario. “The inclement weather plan should get just as much attention and function as the original plan,” says Chelsea Kennedy of Huntsville, Alabama-based Chelsea Kennedy Weddings.
Overcomplicate the timeline
Don’t try to pack too many activities into one event. Yard games, a surprise dance troupe performance, and a guitar solo from Grandpa may sound fun, but it’s too much to do in one night. Instead, try to simplify and focus on perfecting the experience. Chelsea explains, “Overcomplicating the timeline creates unnecessary stress and disrupts the natural flow of the day.”
Skip a timeline buffer
Even if you plan on everything meticulously, there’s always the chance that something throws a wrench in your event, and you have to have room to adapt. “Event planners would never forget to include buffers in the overall timeline. While planners pride themselves on running programs efficiently, we typically account for delays for circumstances outside of our control,” says Alexis Milby with Richmond, Virginia-based LK Events & Design.
Fail to have an estimated guest count
“Event planners would never move forward with any plans without first establishing a guest count. The guest count drives everything, including venue selection and budget,” says Chelsea. Without at least a rough estimate, you can’t assess what everything will cost — from food to beverages to place settings.
Include toddlers in a wedding
“I would never have children under three in a wedding. No matter how cute they are, if they can not walk on their own, they do not need to walk down the aisle. They especially do not need to be pulled in a wagon. Include them in photos and have that as your sweet memory,” says Neillie Butler, Founder and President of Mariée Ami, based in Birmingham, Alabama.
Send a digital wedding invitation
Neillie says, “I would never send out an electronic wedding invitation. While some may not agree, a paper invitation adds elegance and sophistication to a wedding — or any event — that can’t be replicated with an online invitation.”
Bring pets to the reception
“I think including pets in pictures or the ceremony is a wonderful touch. However, it is best if they leave immediately following the ceremony,” says Tanya Cornwell of Starry Nights Events in Richmond, Virginia. “That way, your pet can be comfortable and safe, and you can enjoy the rest of your evening without worrying.”
Offer an open bar before a wedding ceremony
It’s nice to give guests a little something to sip on while they’re waiting for the ceremony to start. But that doesn’t mean that the bar needs to start pouring drinks to order. Tanya says, “I’m a fan of a welcome drink, but no open bar before the ceremony.”
Place a bar near an entrance
“I would never put a bar near an entrance,” says Amos Gott, President and Chief Event Architect at Nashville’s AmosEvents. “This an obvious and old rule, but you want to pull guests into the room. Putting a bar near the entrance creates an unnecessary bottleneck, making it difficult to get the rest of the guests through the doors and into the event space.” A more strategically placed bar encourages guests to mingle.
Plan a destination wedding that doesn’t include a full meal
Cassandra Lorien of Crescent Bound Events in New Orleans would never plan a destination wedding without offering a full meal to guests. However, that doesn’t mean you are always obligated to serve a full meal. “If you’re having a small local gathering, cake and champagne or cocktails and light bites can be fine if you’re on a budget,” says Cassandra. “But once you ask guests to travel, not feeding them is bad manners. Brunch weddings can be a lighthearted alternative.”
Neglect to offer elevated non-alcoholic options
“I will always insist a venue have multiple alcohol-free options available for guests,” says Cassandra, who explains that this should go beyond canned soda to include mocktails and festive options. She adds, “So many people choose not to imbibe for many reasons. I think couples sometimes overlook this and don’t realize they could be alienating their guests.”
Serve food on sticks
Some food should never be served simply because it makes a mess. Michelle Durpetti, Founder of Durpetti Events, explains, “I’m not a fan of food with sticks, like skewers. They tend to create a mess, and I believe there are far more sophisticated ways to serve delicious bites. Presentation matters, and I prefer options that enhance the dining experience without the fuss of sticks.”
Serve asparagus
“While I have had a client override this decision for their menu, I would personally not serve asparagus at a large event,” says Amos. “The simple reason is that this popular green vegetable leaves a permeating smell in restrooms, and why intentionally create an unpleasant moment?”
Have a waterfall napkin setup
“I never do a waterfall napkin,” adds Amos, referring to a napkin placement that cascades off the side of a table. “First, it’s not the proper placement of a napkin with a place setting. But, I want guests to enjoy the entire beauty of the dining table. I can’t see past the waterfall napkin because it’s distracting as it falls off the table.”
Micromanage the vendors
Sometimes, the best way to ensure an event goes flawlessly is to step back. “We often feel the need to micromanage every little detail of each vendor or partner’s responsibilities, and that can end up hurting instead of helping,” says Alexis. What can be more beneficial is to set clear boundaries and expectations with each key player of the event and provide global support while allowing your trusted partners to do what they do best!”
Assume there will be a garter or bouquet toss
Every wedding differs, but there is a movement away from garter and bouquet tosses. “Even though it’s a tradition, I don’t like garter tosses, and I can even live with not doing a bouquet toss. Sometimes, with my more mature couples, you don’t have as many single friends, and it can be a little awkward,” says Tanya.
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